admin

**I sigh heavily and finish taping up the last box. I didn't think I had that much shit, but the eight large, full boxes suggest otherwise. After Eugene dropped me back at Aaliyah's --after our daring stunt in the hills-- I decided to head home and start packing since I'd be paying the deposit on my apartment tomorrow.*I changed into some jean shorts and a tight tank top while I packed, and it took me most of the day, but it's done. I flop onto my bare mattress and stare at the ceiling. I feel a slight pang of despair thinking about leaving this place. I've lived here for a long time, so many memories. This has been my room on two separate occasions, my last boyfriend, Brian, stayed here for a short time with me on the most recent stint. All the times I?ve had friends over, barbecues, birthday parties. All the nights Ethan and I hung out in the basement.*Ethan...*I cover my eyes with my arm thinking about my friend. We got closer in more ways than I ever thought we would, and I?ve never felt so distant from him now. The guilt I thought I once lost courses through my nerves at the unmistakable feeling that this is all my fault. I may have had cynical thoughts in general these last seven days, but I?d be lying to myself if I said I hadn?t thought about Ethan 95% of the time.*I knew what we had wasn?t exclusive. I knew it wasn?t permanent to any degree, and I knew we weren?t together. But I also knew the unspoken nature of our ?agreement?. Part of me felt like anything was possible. We were enjoying ourselves, and I say that with confidence. The times we laid together, the way his arms would hold me in an iron grasp like he never wanted to let go. His penetrating green eyes never escaped my notice, the way he would always stare right into my soul. Erzincan Escort I was never overly thoughtful in these moments, but every time I look back, I feel something there.*Even now, I know deep down that I still genuinely like Ethan. That was never lost. Hidden, perhaps, by my careless need to forget the drama. Every sexual tryst I?ve had over the last week was marred by thoughts of Ethan. How much bigger he was compared to Eugene, how his mouth satisfied me more, how well his hands contoured to my body. Of course Eugene pleased me, I?m not completely biased, but the connection I felt with Ethan was more pronounced, I can?t deny.*I thought I was a cultured, tolerant woman, but my behavior this last month has been cringe worthy. Now all I want to do is make it right. As if on cue, I hear the front door open upstairs. Ethan?s laughter echoes through the house down the stairs to my open bedroom door, and I hear someone with him. When their footsteps sound down the stairs, I figure now is as good a time as any to tell him I?m moving. Tomorrow.*I stand up and walk to my door, and when Ethan?s eyes meet mine, I see a flash of surprise before he gives me a neat, easy smile. God, he?s looking as good as ever in all his height and broad shoulders and dark hair. ?Hey,? Ethan says taking a seat in his usual chair, a man following behind him, sitting on the couch. ?Michael, Chanel. Chanel, Michael," he introduces me and the guy next to him.*?Nice to meet you,? Michael smiles at me, a little too friendly. His eyes rake over me subtly, but noticeably. He looks to be around the same age as Ethan, and he?s more lanky with blonde hair.*?Hi,? I reply with a smile. ?Is this the Michael you work with?? I ask, knowing I?ve heard Ethan Erzincan Escort Bayan refer to a ?Michael? before.*?The very same,? Ethan says, reaching under the coffee table.*?What? You guys talk about me?? Michael asks with a snicker.*?Only about how ugly you are,? Ethan retorts, and we laugh. ?Do you want to join?? Ethan ask, looking up to me and pulling out a sandwich bag filled with bud.*?Sure,? I reply, and walk to the couch, trying to show how friendly I intend to be. This is, again, the first time I?ve seen him in the last few days, and our last conversation wasn?t cotton candy and butterflies. Michael gives me a big grin and scoots down the couch so I can sit between them.*We get the television going and a bowl loaded when I finally decide to broach the subject. ?So, I found a condo,? I say, taking the lighter from Ethan.*?Yeah? Where at?? Ethan asks, grabbing a controller.*?On 28th, not too far.?*?Right on, when you moving?? Ethan asks without batting an eyelash. He must feel the same about keeping the peace, and I ignore the feeling picking at the inside of my raw stomach.*?Tomorrow actually,? I reply, then light the green.*?Tomorrow?? The surprised tone in his voice placates some of the uneasiness and I internally roll my eyes at myself. I shouldn?t want him to miss me. I?m trying to fix things Chanel.*?Yeah, I found it earlier this week, met the woman yesterday, and she?s giving me the keys tomorrow. I can still help you with this month?s rent though, I wasn?t expecting to leave so soon.? I peek at Ethan as I pass Michael the pipe.*Ethan scoffs and smiles. ?Don?t even worry about it. I?m glad you found something you want,? he says, some underlying emotion painting his words. I open my mouth to argue, Escort Erzincan but he throws me a pointed glance, and I now know I?m still not immune to his impressive anger. I keep my mouth shut.*?Do you need any help moving?? Michael asks after taking his hit.*?Well, I'll need to find a truck for my big furniture.?*?Michael has a truck, we can help you,? Ethan offers, and I smile.**?That?s very nice of you, thank you. Is tomorrow a problem?? I ask uncertainly, glancing at both of them.*?Not at all. I?ll follow Ethan home and meet you here,? Michael says. I feel slightly better about Ethan?s eagerness to help. Maybe our friendship is salvageable after all. We sit for a while discussing the perks of my new place and Michel's GMC Sierra.*Once it gets late enough to be acceptable for bed, I tell them goodnight and pull myself from the couch, stoned as a rock. After I brush my teeth and exit the bathroom, I intercept a glance from Ethan that makes my stomach lurch, I don't know if it?s a good or a bad lurch.*My insides tell me it was bad as I lie in bed for the next two hours thinking about the man on the other side of the wall. 'Get the fuck over it', was my last thought before drifting off.*****Two days later --after my new pad is thoroughly cleaned to my standards-- I invite Aaliyah, Dylan, Eugene and Taniyah over for a 'housewarming party'. I use the term loosely, as it wasn't to be much of a party. However, as thoughtful as my kick ass friends are, they all brought me shit for my new place. I don't have a ton of my own furniture, but at least I have a bed and a couch. Somehow, every time you move, someone's always getting rid of a couch, ya know? At least I still have my own flat screen.*We watch movies and eat the many dishes I prepared for company. If I?m gonna have a lame party, we all might as well eat good food. I finish my carne asada burrito, dispose of my used lime and laugh with Aaliyah when Dylan tells us some moron from work damn near let a customer drive off without tightening the lug nuts on their two rear wheels.